5 Tips to Rekindle the Romance and Reconnect with your Partner

5 relationship tips

• Be One With God Together

• Communicate With Each Other

• Use Words of Affirmation

• Respect Your Partner

• Don’t Distort

how to treat your relationship

• Do you feel like your relationship is not what it used to be? 
• Are you frustrated, feeling lonely because your home is a battlefield or you do not have enough support at home? 
• Do you believe that marriage was created and blessed by God to bring joy and happiness to us?

I believe it was and your marriage is no different. As you go through these tips, I pray that you will allow the Holy Spirit to work in your heart to help you let go of self, stubbornness and pride. Focus on what you can do each day to bring love and joy to your partner.

Treat your relationships as if you are serving and pleasing God. Remember, it is not about you, it is all about God. The more you pour in, the more you get back. Let your relationship be the lily among the thorns, where it will gloried God and fortified your faith.

The Bible is our handbook and we should use it daily to strengthen our relationship not only with God but with those around us. We all desire some level of fulfillment in our relationship, whether it is with our spouse, children, family or friend.

We build a relationship for many reasons, but knowing the basic principles will keep it meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in the good and the bad times. This Action Guide is to help you reignite the romance and reconnect with your partner, and repair the trust and love you once experienced.

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How to Reignite and Reconnect

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

1. First and Foremost…Be One with God Together

The quality of our relationship is contingent on our acceptance and understanding of God’s love towards us. Remember, your relationship is a union, where two people become fused together as one.

• On a daily basis, spend time together in prayer and meditation.
• Pray about your relationship, your spouse, your children, and your family.
• Give everything over to God. 
• Talk to Him about your problems. 
• Thank Him for the opportunity to be in your relationship and the happy times you experience. 

Praying together is a good way to help each other out with the stresses life brings.  By praying together, you are experiencing God together and bringing back peace and happiness in the home. Just a note of caution, in building your intimacy together through prayer and meditation, do not bring out each other’s fault, avoid prodding, interrogating, judging, instead build trust, love and forgive each other as is model in the Lord’s prayer-Psalm 23.

Make the Lord’s Day (Sabbath) a day of rest and worship. This allows you to spend time together as a family in bible study, in church, in reading and mediating and resting.  It allows you to find that peace and spiritual growth and simple powerful ways to relax together and form a more secure bond.

God designed marriage to provide:

• Partnership
• Spiritual intimacy
• Ability to pursue God…..together. 

We are here to find our fulfillment and purpose in God, not in a “me-centered” world. When you focus on Christ together, you will have an inner source for love, joy and peace, and you are free to be givers to each other, because God is the source of your happiness and not your selfishness.                                                                                                                                            

2. Communicate with Each Other     

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,

that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

What do you think makes a relationship successful? I would say communication because this is where you are able to share open, honest communication with each other and build a solid foundation for your relationship. Bear in mind, that in every relationship you will have rough spots, but how you handle them can bring you closer together and build trust and connection. You have to ensure you both want and expect the same things... this is very important in moving forward.

• Mutual respect is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship. We all want to be respected, so understand that your partner’s wishes and feelings have value too.  
• No one is a doormat in a relationship, so if something is bothering you, speak up instead of bottling it up inside. 
• Learn to compromise. It’s very important to find a way to compromise when disagreement arises. Your partner wants to feel supported, so offer reassurance and encouragement, and also let your partner know when you need to be supported.
• Respect each other’s privacy and set boundaries. Sometimes we believe that there is no privacy in the relationship, but there is, we require space.

We have to remember, we are not mind readers, that’s why it takes both partners to really listen and communicate effectively with each other to build a good relationship.

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

3. Use Words of Affirmation

For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual

gift to strengthen you…Romans 1:11

• Do you yearn to receive compliments or words of affirmation from your partner?
• Do you eagerly wait to get his approval for something well done?

Do not worry, it is all natural for us to want to be affirmed and encouraged. Can you imagine if in your relationship words of affirmation were used daily? Tell me, what is stopping you from affirming and encouraging your partner?

Start right now by using words of affirmation, whether you expressed them verbally, in a letter, a note or using someone else or other media.  It can be done by the following:

• Complimenting..…..”You look elegant in the suit.”
• Encouragement..….”I am so proud of you.”
• Kind words…….…”I love you.”
• Praise……..”great job in taking out the garbage today.”

When making affirmation ensures that you are speaking positively and your tone is loving, kind and genuine. Focus on your partner’s positive attributes rather than on yourself.  The more you use word of affirmation to your partner, the more your love will grow and strengthen your relationship.

4. Respect Your Partner

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself,

and let the wife see that she respects her husband Ephesians 5:33

• Learn to respect each other requires spiritual maturity.
• Evaluate your spiritual development by looking at how often you communicate in your own quiet time with God. 

How is your character showing up? Are you dissatisfied with your evaluation? Why not pray that God will help you grow in any area of weakness so that you will grow in love and respect for your partner?

Respecting your spouse might not be easy and it might be hard at times to hold our tongue. You need to remember and understand how you would like to be treated and act that way towards your partner.

Make the decision to show respect at all times. For instance not using foul language to your spouse, but using "sound speech that cannot be condemned.." (Titus 2:8). I know, it will be hard, but when you find yourself slipping, stop, and make a concerted effort to always be kind, plant good seed and bring honor to your spouse. Showing respect at all times will bring peace and harmony in your home and help you build a healthy relationship

5. Don’t Distort

All day long they twist my words; all their schemes are for my ruin. Psalm 56:5

• Ask yourself, “Why do I say things that are untrue or things that I do not mean? Am I doing it deliberately, unconsciously or habitually?
• Evaluate and examine why, and what you are able to avoid.
• Don’t beat upon yourself, but be honest. 
• Try not to put yourself in situations where you cannot be honest, such as making promises you cannot keep. 
• Examine the consequences when you distort your words, and think how your distortion can create a negative impact on your relationship. 

Even if a lie is indented for good, it is still a lie. As you begin the journey of igniting your relationship, start very small. Consider the big picture…your relationship. Change your negative thinking to position and pray that your thoughts are guided by the Holy Spirit.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9