Being Vulnerable in a relationship
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness." Brenéé Brown
It is a word full of meaning. The word itself makes me feel vulnerable. The word itself says it all. But what is my own definition of vulnerability?!
I have asked many people I know what they see and feel when they think of this big word, and most of them (especially women) told me straight away: insecurity, weakness and low self-esteem. They associate this concept with a negative connotation and the image of a naked woman, a baby or a cub.
One of the most inspiring women I know shared with me that this 'darkness' has gone as she was growing up and she became a mother. Now she would do anything to protect her children, hence this is why she started letting go of fear and started listening to her own truth more.
People are taught since childhood to hide their emotions. Crying is for the weak. Being bold is for those who don't have feelings for others. But is that really true? Is this a universal truth?
Vulnerability is All about trust
Being vulnerable means trust.
Trusting yourself first and foremost and then trusting others. In my own experience, I have always been struggling to open up to people and simply showing to them "this is who I am. This is where I need help. And this is how you can help me." I feel like I am asking for other people's attention. I am begging for love. But again, is this true?
It is natural that some human beings will make you feel loved and understood straight away, while others will take ages to deserve your trust and respect. This is why we really should start cultivating those relationships more, where it feels like it is not your mind that speaks, but your soul. It is the starting point for a fulfilled life, lived from the bottom of one's heart.
Being vulnerable in a relationship
We all crave that kind of human connection. The problem is that we are afraid to discover what often is just a step away. It takes courage to peel off those layers of inner judgement that push away who we truly are. Once we take that leap of faith, once we forget who we should be and embrace who we are, we enter the magic zone.
I chose lavender and a butterfly to represent vulnerability because they represent the following:
- Elegance of the soul
The caterpillar must undergo several mutations before it becomes the gorgeous fluctuating butterfly. In the same way, we must accept to be uncomfortable and challenge our own persona before we can let go of the armour and develop into the individual we should truly be. Many of us have created through the years a cocoon around our hearts to protect ourselves from that outside world that way too often is pointing a finger at us.
Now, take a moment to think about yourself. Are there walls around your heart? As Brené Brown says, being vulnerable means being willing to show up and be seen. Also, it is the most powerful bridge to build connection and intimacy. How would your life change if you had the courage to lay everything bare?
As a life coach, it is an eternal struggle between preserving my own individuality and giving people the opportunity to receive my gift. However, I have discovered over time that the best relationships grow when you allow yourself to be simply you and let go of anything that limits your possibilities!