My story
This is probably one of the hardest assignments that God has ever given me. I have shared my story of abuse and some of the parts of the journey that has led me towards the healing that God has destined for me.
However, there is a part of the journey that is tough because it calls for a level of courage that you may have never needed before. Aside from forgiving my uncle for what he did, telling others about my experience was just has hard. Still, I found it equally important AND necessary. It’s time to break the silence.
Break the silence
Silence is defined as the lack of audible sound. It means nothing can be heard.
As a victim of abuse, silence is seen and felt in a very different way. Silence becomes the thing that suffocates your voice so much that you can’t even speak. It becomes invisible hands around your throat that won’t allow you to utter the words that you are internally screaming night and day. Silence becomes the killer of all good things inside of you and is the fuel for the rage you feel, because no one seems to hear your cries for help.
Over the past year God has allowed me to meet women AND men who have been molested. Each one of them have one thing in common, they have never told anyone what happened them. They suffer in silence every day, while people around them wonder why they are so mean, distant, lack trust, and avoid intimacy. These “flawed” personality traits are actually scars that they carry as a result of their experience. What others see as your faults, God sees as your pain.
Silence encapsulates rage, fears, anxiety, and self-loathing. Those qualities infuse themselves to you and become a different person. You tend to lash out on those closest to you. They become the recipients of all of those negative feelings and qualities you now carry.
Fight against fear
The real catalyst behind our silence is FEAR! Fear stops us from speaking up because we don't know what will happen if we do.
Because of this uncertainty, we fear many things:
- No one will believe us
- We will destroy lives or families
- The rejection that may come from people
Those things may happen. But think about what else will happen - you will be FREE!!!
You will be able to live your life free of guilt and self-condemnation, knowing that you have broken the curse of bondage that holding your secret created. For me, breaking my silence broke the chains of guilt and shame that caused my nightmares.
After I broke my silence, I had family members who no longer wanted to deal with me. At first it hurt, but I realized that it was because they felt guilty. They knew the history of perversion in our family and never said a word and just ignored it. You see, there are repercussions that can happen as a result of silence because it doesn’t just hurt you, it hurts those around you as well.
There are other victims who need our strength to begin their journey of healing. Your courage and strength will help them take that step towards healing. The foul act of molestation leaves trails. The souls of those abused or molested are rotting because of the damage done to their mind, body, and spirit.
TIme for healing
It’s never too late to heal. You may say, well I am older now, it doesn’t matter it’s over with, it was so long ago what good would it do now, or I am over it. All of those reasons are tools being used by the devil to convince you that your secrecy equates to healing. Not so!
Break your silence, break the chains, break the cycle and Be Healed!
God has a destiny for you that does not have room for someone else’s shame. You have carried your shame long enough. I pray that God give you the courage to break your silence and to move forward towards your divine purpose in Him.
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