Causes of Infidelity

Infidelity has many reasons

With the high rates of divorce and with entertainment and media glorifying extramarital affairs, it’s no wonder we live in a society that constantly tempts us to see exactly how green the grass really is on the other side.

Infidelity can plague any relationship but is often the symptom of a greater problem that exists. How can couples cope once it has been discovered that someone has been unfaithful in the relationship?

WHAT IS INFIDELITY?

Infidelity is defined as breaking a promise of faithful behavior that can occur many forms.

It can be sexual infidelity, when one person strays from the relationship to engage in sexual conduct with another. There are some infidelities, however, that are not of a sexual nature.

Emotional infidelity is when someone cheats on the relationship by giving a considerable amount of time and emotional energy to someone else. The person being cheated on feels betrayed because of the level of intimacy given to an outsider.

Emotional infidelity is sometimes seen as a worse offense to sexual infidelity because of the detail of intimacy being shared with the other person. Infidelity can be damaging to the relationship because often it is a misguided way to seek excitement or an answer to the problems going on in your current relationship.

WHAT ARE SOME CAUSES OF INFIDELITY?

It is hard to pinpoint the exact cause of what makes people stray. Infidelity usually exposes and sheds light on a greater issue in the relationship.

There are several things that can plant the seeds for an infidelity to occur.

• One person may cheat because the opportunity presented itself and they were victim of circumstance.
• Another may feel neglected by their partner and seek that attention elsewhere. The attention they receive outside the relationship can be so addictive that it often distracts the individual from making choices commensurate with faithful behavior.
• Other people may cheat because the “honeymoon” phase of the relationship has ended and they are looking for a way to recreate that magical feeling.

Usually these reasons for cheating are symptoms of a larger cry for help. Those signs become more evident when couples stop meeting each other’s needs, communication breaks down or becomes non-existent and they become more and more distracted by work/life schedules. There may be a significant change in sex drive between the two partners or a bigger difference in personality than they may have initially realized.

When these things become prevalent, some may seek for resolution or relief in the arms of another.

Having an affair does little to resolve the main issue that is pushing one in the direction of infidelity. It essentially creates a new situation which more than often exacerbates the problem.

CAN THE RELATIONSHIP BE SAVED?

Once it has been confirmed that someone in the relationship has been unfaithful, it’s natural for tempers to flare and for reality to become distorted because of the intense emotions that surround the situation. For many, breaking up is the best solution, but for some, ending the relationship isn't necessarily inevitable as some couples are willing to work past this issue.

For those that wish to save the relationship, it is imperative for trust to be rebuilt. Having open communication with your partner about your feelings, fears and what it would take to rebuild the trust is necessary if there is any hope for the relationship to move forward. Reestablishing the relationship boundaries is needed to demonstrate the commitment each person has to growing the intimacy, honesty and trust.

With time, it is possible that the wounds can heal and the couple can emerge from infidelity with a stronger and more intimate relationship.