Grief is the process of coming to terms with a loss. Grief is not only triggered by death; it also occurs when we lose anything. It could be losing our identity as well as losing a career, relationships, kids moving out of the house, and relocating to a different house or location.
Loss hurts. Loss changes our inner self and the world around us. Loss means change, and sometimes very big changes. When we feel lost, it is important to grieve. Without the grief process, you are at a higher risk for sometimes serious emotional and psychological issues including severe depression. Your levels of pleasure, mood, well-being, and a general sense of satisfaction with life may all suffer significantly if you don't grieve a loss appropriately.
The grief process can be difficult depending on the loss. It can take a long time, though the time depends on the loss and the individual experiencing it. There is no wrong way to grieve. One of the most important considerations in grieving is finding comfort whenever and wherever you can.
Here are some tips to overcome your grief:
1. Accept Your Feelings
According to the American Psychological Association, through grief, you may experience a wide range of emotions from sadness, anger, or even exhaustion. All of these feelings are normal and it’s important to recognize, accept and feel your feelings. Talk with someone about your feelings. Cry. Write about your feelings. All these outlets help you to process and accept what you feel about your loss.
2. Allow Yourself To Feel
Sometimes negative feelings like sorrow, sadness, grief, and anger can be difficult to feel, so we push them away and stuff them inside. This never works as those feelings will find an outlet, typically in negative ways. So, allow yourself to feel. Tell yourself, “It is okay to feel ________” and “Feeling _________ is natural.” It may be difficult but necessary as a part of the overall healing process.
3. Take Things One Day At A Time
You will have good days and bad days. Don’t spend too much time worrying about when the grief is “over.” Take each day one day at a time or even one minute at a time. Make sure to stay in the present moment, don’t think about the past or future, just be in the here and now. This helps you from becoming overwhelmed and allows you to enjoy some moments of peace, which I promise will come.
4. Write Out All Your Emotions on Paper
One great exercise for difficult emotions is to write them all down. Once they are there and named, they become less scary. It also just feels great to get that load off your chest! So, sit down and write out all your feelings. You can do this daily.
5. Set Aside Time to Do Nothing But Grieve
Sometimes it helps to set aside time to let out an emotion. If you are the type of person who dwells on emotions all day, setting aside time to do nothing but grieve might be a good idea. Let all your grief out for a while and then go on with your day.
If you tend to avoid emotions, this technique might be even more helpful. Facing and accepting your grief and reflecting on what and who you miss for a specified time will prevent you from avoiding these feelings. Try it out!
6. Reach Out To Loved Ones
The grief process is highly enhanced by a strong support system. Do not grieve alone, reach out to friends, family, and even professional help to get you through the toughest of times. When it comes to the losses felt through the current Covid-19 pandemic it is important to remember that as a planet, we are all in this together. There are no longer people unaffected unless they live in the wilderness somewhere. If you need company or someone to vent to, reach out! Schedule a phone call, zoom, or Skype session.
7. Journal
Journal daily. Write down anything that comes to mind. Just write. This helps you process and let go of anger, anguish, and pain.
8. Self-Compassion and Self-Love
Darlene Mininni, PhD, MPH, author of The Emotional Toolkit says that self-compassion improves mental health. Being kind to yourself is one of the best ways to find comfort in times of hardship and sorrow. Be a friend to yourself, and say kind things. For example, “I’m so proud of you for finding your inner strength” “You are going to be okay” or “I love you.” Try saying these types of things while looking in the mirror.
9. Celebrate Their Life
If the grief is about death, it is important to have the proper perspective. Is how you are living and coping “celebrating their life” or “mourning their death?” Understand that you must mourn, you must grieve, you must cry and be sad but at some point, if this continues beyond what is reasonable you are no longer in a healthy situation. If at some point you don’t honor your loved ones passing with a mindset of celebrating their life, then you are drowning in mourning their death. Is that what they would want you to do?
10. Practice Mindfulness – Stay Present
Stay in the moment. Focus on the here and now. Don’t dwell on the past or consider the future, just take your days one moment at a time. Focus on what is in that moment, the sights, sounds, smells, and everything that surrounds you. Become mindful of all that is in that moment. Observe your feelings at that moment, acknowledge each feeling, and help yourself heal from one moment to the next.
Kathryne Collins
Life Coach
Ph.D., MBA, CPC
Miami, Florida
Assist women on their journey to accelerate their results, and they love living
- Ph.D. in Christian Counseling and Life Coaching
- Certification in Life Coaching
- Master's in Business Administration
- Christian Counseling
- Life Coaching Certification
- Academic Advising
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