Learning How to Communicate with Your Partner

COURSE DATES:

This course is ongoing so you can join at any time.

COURSE SYLLABUS:

1. Module 1 : EXPRESSING NEGATIVE FEELINGS CONSTRUCTIVELY

   "Negative feelings" refers to those feelings which we generally do not enjoy hearing from others. They include: bitterness, resentment, disappointment and disapproval. Just as there can be no hot without cold and no up without down, so too there can be no positive without negative.

2. Module 2 : LISTENING TO NEGATIVE FEELINGS NON-DEFENSILVELY

   Hopefully, you realize that you are not the only one with negative feelings. Just as there are things your spouse does which bother you, there are things that you do which drive your spouse absolutely crazy. Whoops, I may have just broken Rule #1, above. On the other hand, in your particular case, it may not be an exaggeration at all! In order to complete the communication loop so that messages are properly sent and received, it is necessary for all spouses to learn how to listen to negative feelings without becoming defensive.

3. Module 3 : EXPRESSING POSITIVE FEELINGS WITHOUT INHIBITION

   The term "positive feelings" refers to such emotions as: affection and warmth, appreciation and approval, admiration and respect. They are called positive because they usually generate positive reactions in people who experience these feelings, as well as in people to whom these feelings are directed. It is no wonder, then, that many of the words to describe positive feelings begin with the letter "A." Unfortunately, in western society, people are much more experienced with negative feelings than they are with positive feelings. As a result of this imbalanced exposure to negative feelings, most people had many more opportunities to learn how to express negative emotions than they did positive ones. So by the time they reach adulthood, they have a greater fluency in the language of negative feelings than they have in the language of positive feelings.

4. Module 4 : LISTENING TO POSITIVE FEELINGS WITH AWKWARDNESS

   Some people can never accept a compliment. If someone tries to commend them, they change the subject, look away, blush, cough nervously or all of the above. They find it easier to praise others and often do. But whey they are on the receiving end of positive feelings, they openly display their discomfort.