you must first inspire yourself
As a coach, if I am uninspired by what I am doing, then how can I expect anyone else to be caught up with excitement? It is important that they are able to view, hear or feel the future potential there and at the same time I am able to give them the security and confidence to explore and move forward.
Take for instance when you are at a holiday cookout.
- What area attracts you?
- Where do you find yourself drifting towards?
- Is it the food?
- A sports game, playing on the side?
- The place where the laughter and noise are coming from?
- The heated discussion?
- What gets your attention?
- What gets the attention of the majority of those there?
Now if I suggested that you need to do 10 push ups to be in the area you want to be in, will you find that easy or stressful, knowing that doing this activity now, you can be where you want to be after that?
It stands to reason that if your goal really attracts you, it will pull you through to the other side. Understanding yourself opens you up to motivating others, once you find out the areas they want to be in.
Getting stuck in old patterns
We sometimes get stuck in old patterns which we believe are our habits or the way we think we are. Why?
Have you heard statements such as this from others or yourself:
- “Well, this is the way I have always done it.”
So If you enjoyed eating mashed vegetables and meat as a 2 year old, does that mean that today you need to continue believing this way, as this has to be the answer for you?
What would happen if you reinvented yourself? What parts would you make important in your life now? You might say rebuilding something, especially yourself, is so hard because it requires too much effort.
Your goals look far away and unachievable to you, which perhaps causes you to feel fear of the unknown? Now, what happens when you define the fear? For example, when you walk past a pit, if you refuse to look in, perhaps your mind imagines this deep drop into nothing which would scare anyone from even getting close to the edge.
The risk is huge for your mind to comprehend, let alone bring your body near. However, if you allowed yourself to see the worst case scenario, what will you discover? Perhaps the pit is only one storey deep, and your worst case scenario is a broken leg or a sprain. Is the fear still overbearing? (I can work with you to remove fear, I have had 100% success rate to date with my clients who have even had phobias.)
Ask yourself these questions first
It is important to ask the following questions before you reinvent yourself:
- Can you imagine yourself to be someone else and what is this person excited about?
- What are they interested in when they are relaxing on holiday, what do they enjoy learning about in their lives?
- What makes their day when they think about how they have contributed to the world around them?
- What makes them feel proud?
- Is it what their parents would say?
- Is it what their siblings would say?
- Is it what their peers will say?
- Is it what their community will say?
- Is it what their country will say?
- Is it what the world will say?
- Is it what they will say to themselves?
Knowing what drives you will be a great building block to reinforce those weak moments.
Take note of your values
Your values affect the way you are directed in your life. Knowing what they are, is essential to finding out if there is conflict in them. For instance, if I believe in making money, what does that give you inside yourself emotionally?
- Is that love( being accepted, non-judgement, happiness, passion, feeling)
- Security (remove fear, Self-sufficiency, be honest, safety)
- Prestige ( admiration, fame, acknowledgement)
- Godliness ( Being good, community, eternal reward, humility)
- Freedom (no boundaries, wisdom, ability to explore or take risks)
- Authority ( A decision maker, a leader, sage, visionary)
- Development ( growth, expansion, evolve, improve)
Write down for yourself what values are ticked off when you aim yourself to reach certain goals in life. Understanding your values can give you knowledge of how you deal with issues inside yourself and also how those around you are dealing with issues in themselves.
Take parts you are good at and build on them. If the foundation is strong and has momentum, then it is going to be far more sustainable, rather than if I am on shaky ground and have insecurities within myself.
Build yourself step by step
Every time I build a step, if I acknowledge and practice this new step, then I form new ways for my brain to learn. If your child came up to you and called you “Mamma” or “Dadda," do you say, “you idiot, that's not how you do it!” Or do you say, “Wow look at you lets hear you say Mommy / Daddy again.”
Every time you acknowledge yourself for how far you have come, the greater your momentum is, for reaching the following "stage." It is essential for personal motivation to reward yourself after each step, however in a constructive manner. (Not cake if you are dieting)
Building in small stages is what makes the whole building build-able, if I try and build it within a day, what will I achieve? However, if I do everything step-by-step and building it up, what then will I create as a whole? Try it and experience it inside yourself. Its really motivating.
If you are interested in building a system that incorporates values and goals that pull you through inside yourself, please contact me.