My Story – Give me a break
Can I give myself some compassion?
This is my story. A true story. This is a story that might sound familiar, because this might be how you have treated yourself in the past. Being a great leader starts with treating yourself with some compassion. When we do this, it creates a stronger more grounded self...and from here we can be strong and inspiring leaders!
So, I set off on a run this afternoon. It’s been a while. I had a perfect break in my calendar. The temperature was beginning to climb to a high of 91 today, with 34% humidity. A high of 106 in a couple days, so the timing was perfect. A short run, 3.5miles.
I shot out of the door to my home, with a target of a 7:30min/mile…a bit aspirational…realistically more like an 8:30min/mile.
I was well on my way, a mile in, 8:30min/mile…WTF, a whole minute off. My inside voice starts going…the drill sergeant one, “Pick it up! Let’s go!”
The run continued. It got harder. It got hotter. I got slower. 8:55min/mile. The drill sergeant chimed in again, “Your failing! You’re wasting a good run!”.
Pure fatigue set-in. I was exhausted. I was on the verge of seeing my lunch show-up on the ground in front of me.
Stopping, let alone walking, is NOT an option…according the drill sergeant.
But wait, give me a break. Who’s making the rules here?
In that moment, on the verge of passing out, I thought to myself, if this was a child exhausting themselves and causing themselves this much pain, I would (without a second thought) jump in and beg them to take a break. I would not be able to bare seeing them in this pain. I would soon as pick them up to stop them from doing this to themselves.
Why the hell was I allowing me to do this to myself?
Give me a damn break!
Something clicked in my head. In this moment I stopped running. I began to walk, I caught my breath, I calmed myself. I allowed myself to relax.
When I felt ready, I picked up the pace and began running. I now felt so energized. So incredibly happy, relaxed, joyful.
What just happened?
I believe gave myself some compassion…dare I say, I gave myself some love. ♥
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