One of my clients can be very difficult in the sense that he is always expects me to give him the answers I don't have the answer to. My job as a coach is to get him to reach the answers for himself. Coaching is about conversing with someone so they can reach new levels of development, new highs and effectiveness.
Handling difficult clients
How do you do that though when the client is difficult and is refusing to dig deep for his own answers and is full of doubt?
To effectively handle clients like these, it is important to stay unbribable, to stay true to ourselves and to trust in our power as a coach. Take a stand as a coach to be connected to your heart. When the conversation gets tough, remind yourself: "I am connected to my heart." It is important to remain confident in our coaching methods, even during the rough bits.
What is life about?
You don't have the answer, I don't have the answer. Life is not about finding the answer, it's about the journey and the process of expansion. Connecting our desires, and going in the direction of our desires.
I live for that moment when a man says: " 'aha' yeah that is it... I will go this way."
As we all know, most men find it difficult to admit that they also don't know. Mental, emotional and physical possessions can get on top of you to the point that "I don't know" is no longer something to smile at, it's something to fear and to dread.
There is nothing wrong with admitting to yourself when you feel lost and do not know what to do. Admit that you don't know. Even though you don't know or you have not achieved or produced the result, your heart speaks the truth and will help you. Yes, it is your heart, that has all the answers, and it can guide you in the direction of your desires by giving you concrete steps to take in order to move forward.
Stay connected to your heart
For everyone who is not connected with their heart, too bad. You need to cherish this part of your being as much as you should cherish the physical body. Meditate again and again until the intelligence of your heart awakes. Once it is awake, it will give you the answers.
Don't you go be disappointed if the answer was something super simple. You may feel like a dumb ass or dumbstruck, but that's ok.
Life is actually simple. Not easy. That's why they say "Life is difficult" because following the simple isn't always easy.
As a coach, it is important to me for the client to have or know the following things:
- Heart connection
- Possessions on intellectual level
- Confidence, and if it is situational, core confidence.
Considering all this, it all comes down to self-love. We talked about the ground level from which everything has to build up and up. Well... the truth is... yes, self-love really is the answer to it all.
Staying true to yourself
Tuning into you desire is where the starting point is. Once you know your desire, the rest of it is easy, you go in the direction of that answer.
Now, I took the stand to stay connected with my heart through out the coaching session and I could see how this brought my client to have the 'aha' moment several times, which cause him to attack me because the answers were simple.
When you take the stand - "I am connected with my heart" - you overcome the attacks because you stay true to your stand. That's all you got. At the end of the day, being my word is all I have, is all you have. No attack is stronger than your stand to stay connected with your heart.
This connection may sometimes be broken, it may be laying there dormant, in which case, you wake it up through meditation and through daily practice, through the willingness to wake it up. Sending the signals back down from the mind into the heart intelligence centre.
This difficult client was stubborn, fiery and defensive because the sad truth that there is no answer is sad. In this sadness, it is our duty to find conviction and start the good fight. The joy and the happy and the following of the path of desire, hence expansion.
Following your desires
Yes, dear reader... follow your desire.
During the session, he asked me so what will the next session be about, to which I said, I don't know, this is your time, my job is to empower you. Then he asked what if I don't get the results I want, that I am paying for. I said, then I will recommend you to a competitor coach of mine that has a different style and may be it will suit you better until he drills into your head that you have all the answers, it's about taking action and staying true to your desire.
- Hope is not enough. It is for the disbeliever, for the one who is still thinking something is about to happen when in reality, nothing is going to happen until you decide what is going to happen. You should think more in terms of "I got the purpose of life, the purpose of being here on Earth, so I have to move towards reaching my desires."
- Faith. I have faith more than you know, my pocket is full of it. I have faith in people, I know we are made up of love and I know we are all able to reach that place.
Three Steps to reach your desire
All in all, I teach my clients three steps to help them:
- Heart Meditation
- Journal and to connect with your inner child
- Go through the Six steps process to the Self and feeling alive
In doing so, I foresee my clients' heart cracking open, speaking up, standing up, showing up. I don't just hope it's going to do something for them. No.... I hold space and faith that their heart connection will awaken. And if it doesn't, it's going to be sad. It's not his time yet. If nothing happens yet again then we will look at what stories are running through each of their lives.
Desire. That is it, if nothing happens then they have a huge resistance to bring to light, to admit their desires. Desires can be messy, they can be dark and filthy. Yet, it is the only force that can drive us forward. Everything else comes in handy to support us in living out our desires, If nothing happens, then their desire magnet needs to be shaken up.
What do you desire, my friend?