"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert A. Heinlein
Think back to the start of your relationship
Think about the first time you met your partner.
- How did you feel?
- How did your partner feel about you when you called or when you would go out on a date?
- When did you decide that he/she was the one for you and you didn't want to go out on another date unless it was with them?
- How excited where you about your partner when you spoke to your friends about them?
- Do you remember telling each other how much you were needed and that they make you so happy?
Roll all of those emotions up and put it into perspective for your relationship today.
- Do you still have those feelings?
- Regardless of the hardships, do you still feel that you need them and you can't imagine going through life without them?
Where are you now in your relationship?
Most couples have fuzzy feelings for each other in the beginning of their relationship because it is something new. You haven't experienced the challenges that life can bring to couples.
Attempting to balance the pressures of being a parent, student, wife/husband, employee, etc can cause issues in your relationship that will either make your connection stronger or cause division that can ultimately end a relationship that was once beautiful.
So the question is: Have you or your partner expressed that you are unhappy and what have you done to change that unhappiness?
How to fix your relationship
Positively change your behavior.
When you positively change the behavior that you exhibit towards one another then you change the negative outcomes that have occurred in your relationship.
Don't expect immediate results.
Keep in mind that just because you did a kind act towards your partner today doesn't mean that you have healed all of the mounds of negative feelings you helped your partner to experience over a period of time.
You were consistent in showing the behavior that got you here in the first place. Now it is time to be consistent in your process to change.
- Show your partner that you love them enough to hear their feelings of unhappiness and you are committed to making a difference and winning back the feelings they once shared for you.
- Think about how long your partner has asked you to change your behavior and committ to sticking to changing that behavior and showing your partner you want your relationship, equally as long.
- Finally, love your partner past their pain. Spend time daily to show your partner how much they mean to you. Small acts of love can create longevitiy in your relationship and get your relationship back to happiness. Your partner only feels the negative acts that you have shown them so love them through this pain and help them to see who they fell in love with.
This road is not easy but is very rewarding. Stick it out. I believe in love and I believe in you!