What Is Limerence?

What is limerence? In this video, relationship strategist Coach Lee, discusses the mental state of limerence and what you can do if your spouse or ex boyfriend/girlfriend is having a limerence affair with someone. Coach Lee compares limerence vs love and discusses what you can do if they are infatuated with this other person (known as the limerent object).

If your marriage is in trouble and you are separated due to your spouse having a limerence affair, this video will explain what is going on and why it seems you can't compete with this other person.

So what is Limerence? It is a state of mind where people often leave marriages or long term, stable relationships to, instead, be with someone they haven't known for a long time at all but have amazing, sky-high feelings for. Dr. Tennov studied people in this infatuation and coined the term/word “limerence.”

Coach Lee also discusses how you may fight for the heart of the one you love if they are in Limerence. When a spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend is experiencing limerence, they are under the influence of the chemicals associated with that mental state. Those brain chemicals are mainly dopamine and serotonin.

The ex lover or spouse in limerence is addicted to those chemical highs and is always chasing the greatest high experienced from the relationship. What they don't realize is that they can never duplicate that high again - though they might come close. Over time the highs get lower and lower until the person feels they have “fallen out of love.” They will then be vulnerable to chasing that high through the host of another person.

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