Brian Falduto

One of the primary reasons I have become a Life Coach is my desire to impact the LGBTQ community. I spent over 10 years suppressing my true self and with that, the chance to connect with many LGBTQ youth who saw me as relatable after my role in School of Rock. Over the years, I’ve ignored many messages from many people because I was insecure about who I was. I don’t feel guilty for taking the time necessary to navigate my way out of the woods, but now I’m finally ready to accept what may very well be my purpose in life.

I personally believe that everyone could benefit from a Life Coach. Perhaps I’m a bit biased, but I’d like to take a moment to highlight a few of the reasons why emerging LGBTQ persons, in particular, might want to consider this partnership.

A lot of queer people experience an underlying feeling of self-doubt throughout their lives thanks to our heteronormative society. I state this from experience and the best way I can illustrate this is by elaborating on my battles in this arena.

From age 11 to age 21, my most fundamental psychological human need was slowly but surely deteriorating – self-esteem. Self-esteem is, by definition:

confidence in our ability to think, confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life; and
confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values, and enjoy the fruits of our efforts

I was told at a young age that being gay was bad. My maturity was therefore guided by self-repudiation in place of self-acceptance simply at the possibility that I could be gay. I was terrified of “becoming” gay and this terror made it very difficult to build a strong and healthy sense of self. You become overwhelmed by fear, leaving no room for authentic growth.

This deterioration of my self-esteem is important to note because as the definition implies, my confidence and my inherent right to be happy were missing as I was growing up. I’ve grown tremendously in the past few years and I’ve developed some really awesome self-examining practices that have allowed me to look internally and raise my self-awareness of these issues. That’s the first step; but frankly, I still have a long way to go if my self-esteem is ever going to match what is defined above. We, in this community, all do.


“Confidence in our ability to think…”



To this day, I often avoid asserting myself at the risk of being wrong. I judge my own feelings, thoughts, and emotions before I have the chance to put them out into the world. Even writing essays like this one are difficult for me because I’m constantly questioning my authority to speak about my own mentalities. Really, all I’m doing is using words to expose my thoughts; thoughts that I’m perfectly justified to have and to share because I am a human. Yet, I struggle to push through senses of inadequacy.

When I finally did have an inkling that I was gay, I told myself I shouldn’t be and I wouldn’t be – I was going to fit in. My rejection of self has always been the norm. Letting myself out has been a terrific experience, but there have been scary moments too. Sometimes I didn’t even know who it was that I was letting out.



“…confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life;”



I’m highly motivated and I tend to always go after what I want. But I am still on a long journey of overcoming the fear of rejection. I’ve always feared failure because I couldn’t bear the thought of giving people another reason to disapprove of my life and my choices; being successful was my way of counteracting that. I began to resent any challenge or obstacle that got in my way. Ironically, the more I cut myself some slack, the more successful I’ve become.

It is tempting to desire to live a life that impresses others but I’m learning that true happiness comes from knowing what it is that I have to offer to the world.



“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde



As a targeted LGBTQ youth, I felt for a long time as though I didn’t have anything “correct” to offer. Only a modified version of myself would succeed in the real world. This is wrong. I am perfectly appropriate as I am right now in this moment. There is no one else like me and I am more than good enough.

Saying these statements is one thing but actually making them my inner truth is another struggle I’m still working through.

A lot of these realizations I’m having have come from heartbreak and, consequently, suffering. They say that failure breeds success, and I couldn’t agree more. I have come a long way in facing my fears and I look forward to more growth, even if it comes with pain. There will always be struggles to come and that’s something we can’t change, but we can change the way we approach them.



“…and confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants,”



I recently opened up about my first love in college and how it was an unhealthy, closeted romance between two misguided individuals looking for the right answers in the wrong places. Until just a few months ago, I thought I had learned from my mistakes in this category. Instead, I had the distinct pleasure of discovering how ingrained my self-esteem issues were when they led me into a very similar situation where I repeated past mistakes. I handed my sense of worth over to someone who did not deserve it and did not have the emotional stability to carry it. He, too, was deeply buried in psychological turmoil and we latched on to each other in a way that was bound to lead to disaster. What hurt was that in the end, I only had myself to blame. All the warning signs were there, I just wasn’t reading them.

Somewhere along the timeline from when I was told I was gay and the 10 years of self-modification that followed, I convinced myself on a subconscious level that I would never be happy. I honestly believed I did not deserve happiness.

Simply changing my narrative doesn’t do the trick for reversing this type of logic because I’m already doing that, both personally and professionally. I’ve made the decision to move forward as a self-aware, self-embracing human being on a conscious level but my self-sabotaging tendencies run far deeper than that.

For nearly half of my life, I accepted that inner sadness was going to be the status quo for the remainder of my existence. I would always be, at some level, yearning for something I was never going to have. I actually grew comfortable and almost content with being sad. Since inner happiness would never be mine, I figured I must find happiness in areas (I thought) I could control: success, wealth, social acceptance, and of course, those addictive relationships I’ve mentioned. I’ve confused my self-worth with conditional love and sometimes even emotional abuse.

I’m now learning that all the love I need comes from myself. Taking responsibility for my own happiness has been empowering. I am taking my life back into my own hands.



“…achieve our values, and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.”



I’m working on this last bit. My values are becoming clear to me and I’m putting in more efforts towards goal achievement than ever before. Life Coaching is a great way to partner up with someone and keep track of your efforts – to clarify what you want, to see what’s working, to see what isn’t working, to discover your barriers to change, to create action steps, and most importantly, to enjoy the journey.

I don’t believe I’m alone. If there are people who can relate to my story, then there must be people who can relate to my self-esteem issues. As a child actor, I slashed away at parts of myself in order to feel accepted and loved. It’s how I survived. I feel fortunate to be at a point in my life where I’m realizing the long-term consequences of these tactics.

Accomplishing good self-esteem is difficult. I’ve found that as I begin to honor myself, I’m also beginning to question pretty much everything else I’ve known. This is probably long overdue, yes, but it’s also an uncomfortable time in my life. There is no switch to flip and I’m aware that it’s going to be a long process.

Authentic growth requires constant effort. If you’ll notice, most of the truly content folks in the LGBTQ community are middle-aged or older. That’s because they spent a lifetime getting to where they are. What I’m saying is we don’t need to wait until we are middle-aged. It’s 2018 and there are tons of resources that can help us change our lives sooner. Life Coaching is just one of them.

I want to help raise self-awareness and diminish self-doubt perpetuated by the obstacles LGBTQ persons face and start the process towards self-love. Because only when you love yourself can you properly love others. And when we love one another, it’s easier for us all to love life.

I am officially certified as a professional Life Coach through the International Coach Federation!

For the most part, I’m excited!

But if I’m being completely honest, this new credential terrifies me. Just a little bit.

I’m worried about the assumptions people might make as I begin work in this new field. Given the conversations I’ve had following my decision, there seems to be one general fixation: if I’m becoming a Life Coach, then certainly I must think I have my life figured out enough to be able to coach others on theirs.

Normally, I don’t worry too much about assumptions because they are, after all, assumptions, which are generally never based in logical reasoning. But I’m starting a career here and I’m passionate about successfully helping others so I feel the need to set the record straight on some things.

What is coaching? Coaching is defined by the I.C.F. as “a strategic partnership in which the coach empowers the client to clarify goals, create action plans, move past obstacles, and achieve what the client chooses.”

Nowhere in that description does it suggest that a Life Coach has life figured out. And thank God! Because, let me tell ya, I do not have my life figured out! I feel that this idea, in and of itself, is a silly notion – that anyone has life figured out. It’s life. It’s never going to be completely figured out.

My favorite question I keep getting asked is, “What’s your greatest piece of advice?” I’m sorry to say, but I don’t all of a sudden have pieces of advice I can hand out at a moment’s notice. Maybe – try getting a Life Coach? You may want or need one. I certainly did.

I’m going to attempt an analogy using the example of a baseball coach. A baseball coach is an ordinary individual who has worked hard to get to where they are and therefore feels ready to help their team strategize towards winning. But the baseball coach can’t win for the team; the team has to do that on their own. And the coach isn’t immune to losing should he or she decide to play again.

Similarly, I am not immune to losing at life just because I’m now coaching about it. I lose at life all the time, actually.

So why have I become a Life Coach?

I enjoy the process of figuring life out.

I’ve always been highly motivated. I love scheduling and making plans, organizing and assessing. I’ve never not gone after something I want to do in life. I hold myself accountable for my goals and I work hard to accomplish them. These happen to be some of my “good” qualities.

I have a lot of self-doubt that was ingrained in me at a young age. Though my confidence and self-acceptance have improved massively, I still find myself struggling with self-esteem to this day. My damaged sense of self-worth leads me into unhealthy and unstable relationships. These happen to be some of my “bad” qualities.

Here’s the kicker though. The qualities that I possess aren’t good or bad. They’re just me. And I enjoy figuring me out.

I enjoy finding the self-examining processes that work for me and are going to allow me to live consciously while I actively pursue my passions. I believe that self-care and self-awareness are not only essential in fueling yourself forward in life, but also essential in fueling your happiness in the present.

That’s what “Love Life,” my life coaching business, is going to be about. Finding the joy in the journey. Loving yourself so that you can healthily love others and also love your life – whatever that looks like for you.

Just like a baseball player enjoys playing baseball to a point where they’d want to spend their life coaching about it, I enjoy playing the game of life to a point where I want to spend my life coaching about it.

If life is a like sport, I am now drafting my team! Let’s figure out where you’re at and what you want and let’s play the game of life together.

All potential clients will receive a free half-hour introductory session.

via Zoom Audio Conferencing (Free)

via Zoom Audio Conferencing (Free)

Brian Falduto is a professional Actor & Singer-Songwriter as well as an I.C.F. certified Life Coach.

At the age of 11, Brian was cast alongside Jack Black by casting director Ilene Starger and Golden Globe-winning director Richard Linklater in the Scott Rudin/Paramount Pictures film School of Rock as Billy, a.k.a. “Fancy Pants.” Brian returned to working on and pursuing his craft in college.

A dual-degree graduate in Theatre Performance and Arts Administration, Brian proudly calls himself an alumnus of Wagner College.

Since college, Brian has immersed himself back into the industry, working with renowned theatre organizations such as the Broadway PR firm O&MCo, the Broadway producing company Jujamcyn Theatres, the regional Paper Mill Playhouse, the Off-Broadway show Fuerza Bruta, the Venus / Adonis Theatre Festival, and the New York International Fringe Festival. He has also taken a dive into the world of Radio with various formats including 95.5 WPLJ, 77WABC on the AM dial, and Radio 103.9. However, he is specifically proud of the role he had in helping bring country music back to NYC with NASH FM 94.7, the flagship station of the now national and influential NASH brand.

Bit by the music industry bug, Brian is now a Singer-Songwriter himself, delivering heartfelt lyrics through infectious melodies. His debut, acoustic EP, “Love One Another” was released on June 13, 2017 and within 24 hours hit #94 on the US iTunes Singer-Songwriter charts. By the end of the week, it was #64 on this same chart in the UK and #31 for overall album sales on iTunes in Norway. Prior to releasing his 2018 Live Performance Session series on YouTube, Brian spent the majority of 2017 sharing his music live in concert throughout the Tri-State area and also devoted some time partnering with various non-profits including H.D.S.A. (Huntington’s Disease Society of America), S.A.G.E. (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders), and H.E.A.R.T. (Help Educate At Risk Teens Foundation), all causes dear to his heart.

Brian was recently named one of the “20 most influential, outspoken, and optimistic individuals on the planet” by PrideLife Magazine in their 20th Anniversary #20intheir20s issue. Pride Month 2018 also brought more opportunities for Brian to continue his advocacy for the LGBTQ community with Broadway Sings for Pride at their 8th annual star-studded benefit concert and through his own efforts organizing the 1st ever NYC Pride Week LGBT Songwriter’s Night in support of The Trevor Project. Most recently, Brian has had some amazing opportunities to share his life story openly and honestly through both a self-written piece in The Advocate and a heartfelt interview with Now This News, both of which have since gone viral.

Launched in June, Brian is currently promoting his new business “Love Life,” a professional Life Coaching program in compliance with the International Coach Federation standards. Fueled by his passion for self-awareness & self-love, Brian works closely with his clients to help guide the conversation they are having with themselves about life.

Brian was in sunny Los Angeles for the recent Pilot Season, but is back in NYC for the summer and hard at work to have new music out by the end of the year. For booking & press inquiries, click here.

#loveyourself #loveoneanother #lovelife #workingonadream

$60 per session
$200 for a package of 4 sessions