Article Sharing our problems with others might not always be the best idea. Sometimes journaling is a better option. 8 2014 Life coaching Stress management coaching life coaching Lifecoachhub Pty Ltd LifeCoachHub
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Should You Share Your Problems?

TAGS: coaching, life coaching, business coaching, coach, life coach, self help, personal development coaching, journaling, stress, therapy, writing, counselling, self help, share your problems

There is a saying, 'A problem shared is a problem halved.' And while sharing a problem may not solve it, or even halve it really, it definitely helps put things in perspective and can give you the clarity you need to approach the problem effectively.

But is sharing your problems with others always the answer?

Does Sharing Your Problems Help?

It very much depends on who you share your problems with. You probably have at least one friend or family member who you think is a great listener.

One of the reasons I started coaching was because so many people were coming to me for advice or just to offload their problems and worries. The risk in sharing your problems with your friends and family is that they may be too close to the situation, or to you, to be able to be objective or not to be affected themselves by anything you may reveal or decide.

For example:

Have you ever listened sympathetically to a friend complaining about something their partner has done which has really upset them? You feel protective towards your friend and probably a bit annoyed with their partner for whatever they have said or done.

You offer sympathy and maybe give an opinion or advice. Whatever they reveal about their partner may change the way you view him or her from now on. Once the issue between them has been settled and everything is back to normal, you may find it very difficult to relate to their partner in the same way as you did before, and this will affect your friendship.


Sharing with friends and family may not always be best

Of course you can share your feelings and worries with your friends and family, this is your support network, but be very mindful of how anything you share with them could affect your relationship in the future.

Bear in mind that whoever you share with can't be unbiased due to their feelings for you. Also, any advice they give, however well-meaning, will be based on their own beliefs, values and opinions and may not be right for you.

Your friends will hate to see you hurting and will want to make it better. But remember that what they would do in your situation is not necessarily what you should do. Before acting on the advice of friends make sure that it feels right for you and that you have considered the consequences to you and those around you.

You could consult a counsellor, therapist or life coach and they would be able to offer you support that would be objective and non-judgemental.

Professionals such as these will work with you and encourage you to find your own solutions that fit right for you. Just being empowered to find your own answers can give you the strength you need to move forward.

Not everyone feels comfortable talking to a stranger or may not be able to afford to seek the help of a professional. A lot of coaches and therapists offer advice through their websites or in articles such as this one, and sometimes that can be enough to help you see clearly and find your solutions.

Air out your problems with journaling

A method that I recommend for people who find it hard to share their problems or feelings with others is journaling or writing therapy.

This can be a tool in itself or a prelude to seeking further therapy or coaching. Airing a problem on paper can be extremely therapeutic and although it can't replace the support of coaching, counselling or therapy, it can have a very positive effect on your approach to any issues you may be facing.

Problems, worries, arguments, feelings and questions which are written down, rather than swirling around in your head, are much easier to tackle. Something that can seem quite scary when you are going over it in your mind can seem much less daunting when aired onto the page. It can make the problem seem more like an external situation and this can make it easier to view the situation rationally and objectively.

You don't need to have a specific problem before you try writing therapy or journaling. Making the time to write a daily journal of your thoughts and feelings can help reduce stress and avoid the negative effects that stress can have on your health and wellbeing.

Writing a daily journal in this way can be useful to clear your mind of distractions before important events such as exams, or help during times of change like moving house, and even as a way of unblocking your creativity.

For more information and advice on writing therapy and journaling, please feel free to leave a comment below or contact me directly!


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  • Stephan Diablo
    July 05, 2014

    Thanks Ruth, I do think that sharing with others close to you can be counter-productive sometimes. I have had really bad advice given to me lots of times that I have followed... and regretted. Sigh. But journalling sounds like a plan :)

  • Coach Ruth Randall
    Ruth Randall
    July 11, 2014

    Advice of friends is usually well meant but rarely objective. Journalling or even just writing down your thoughts helps to make sense of things. You can always follow it with professional support if you need to.

  • khadraa
    August 26, 2017


  • bigglesworth
    September 11, 2018

    I have been guilty of sharing problems for selfish reasons. I told my parents about a broken stovetop that was potentially dangerous at my unit, knowing full well there was nothing they could do about it & it would only worry them until I got it fixed.. misery loves company, unfortunately.

  • Hanielyn D.
    January 03, 2021

    I fell demotivated. I don't know what to do. I know what to do but i don't want to do it. I know its wrong as i have so many responsibilities but i just fell like i don't want to. I keep trying to look for motivation bit in the end its still didn't work for me. I fell like I'm lost.

  • Lxsu
    March 05, 2021

    Once I was very confident and comfortable girl but now a days I lost everything I don't know what happened to me I couldn't able to focus my daily activities actually I really regret to mistakes that I made in my life here I.m sharing my problem because I don't want to tell my problems any one else or nobody was ready to listen me in few days I became to conservative for everything. One huge mistake I made in my life that make me to cry everytime I was not able to heel Up that pain or feeling guilty every time like why I had done this or etc. I could not able to focus my goal although I was to dedicated towards my goal from childhood but something happened to me that changed my thoughts and feelings. Thanksgiving u to listen me I feel somewhat free ?

  • Anand
    April 10, 2021

    Everything is fair in love & war ... I am always in problems but still I am surviving, I don't know what I can do

  • Hrinda
    February 21, 2022

    Usually, I will keep quiet or share with strangers or my lover because I see that my parents are not from our generation, so it is difficult to share.


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