Article Humans get stressed because it was good for their ancestors. Luckily, there are many ways to deal with stress today. 0 2022 Life coaching Stress management coaching life coaching Lifecoachhub Pty Ltd LifeCoachHub

Anti Stress Coaching: Why are We So Stressed (and What to Do About it)

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Stress Can Be Our Friend It Can Be Controlled: Anti Stress Coaching

Day to Day Stress

It seems like there’s a million things that could stress us out on any day.  Whether it be a fight with a spouse, criticism from a boss, or just watching the news it seems like many times, it’s impossible to escape things that will stress us out. 

The big question though is: why? 

  • Why are humans so prone to stress? 
  • Why does our body completely freak out so often? 

In order to answer that we must first remember what it was like when humans were just starting out. 


The origin of stress

These particular humans would be called cavemen and cavewomen. They didn’t live long because the world was a very dangerous place for them. Let’s say a caveperson was walking in the forest and heard a noise.

Some of them would assume that it was a lion who wanted to eat them so they would get very stressed and run away. Others would assume everything would be fine and most of the time they’d be right, but sometimes they’d be wrong. 

If that happened they would get eaten and thus would not be able to pass down their genes to the next generation. Humans that did survive were the ones who were easily stressed out.

Alright, it is true that the world was a very dangerous place for cavepeople, but why is everyone getting so stressed out now when the world is much safer now? Things have only been safer and more prosperous for at most a few generations.

Our biology cannot change that fast. And even though we don’t have to worry about being eaten by lions anymore, there are still plenty of bad things that could happen. 


A fight could lead to a divorce. Criticism could lead to losing a job. And a war in another country could lead to a war here. T

hese worries trigger the same stress response that was useful when it came to avoiding lions. But now, since it’s not always clear what to do about the problem, stress can last much longer and lead to anxiety. 

And anxiety is so bad for your health both physically and mentally.

So what do we do about stress if we’re prone to feeling that way? Luckily, our body also possesses a way to calm down. We need to get that process started in order to destress.  Fortunately, there are many ways to do this too. 

  • Deep breathing can help relax our muscles and finding a new way to look at a scary situation can decrease stress at its source. 
  • Also, recognizing that stress isn’t always a bad thing can lessen the negative effects it has on us. 

One study found that people who lived high stress lives, but saw stress as a good thing had even healthier hearts than people who lived low stress lives.

I’ve been working on seeing stress as a good thing and it’s really helped me relax and appreciate the value of the struggles of life.

At the end of the day, even though we have predispositions to stress because of our ancestors, so much of stress is about how you look at a situation.

Real life stress

Allow me to explain this better in a short story.  Hallie lives a good life for the most part.  She lives in a low crime neighborhood and always has plenty to eat.  But there are still many things that stress her out. 

Every time she has a test at school she gets so worried that she failed it that she loses sleep thinking about how she’s never going to be able to get into college and thus will be a failure at life. 

When the teacher hands back the grades she can feel her stomach starting to hurt. She feels like she has to do something to stop the stress.  If she was a cavewoman and a lion was chasing her she would know to run as fast as she could. 

But there’s no clear answer to what to do about getting a bad grade on a test, especially since she’s already studying her hardest. 

So when she gets back the test and see a C or a D on it she feels so much anxiety and doesn’t have any way to relieve it so she ends up going to the bathroom and crying her eyes out.  

Luckily, there is hope for Hallie. Her parents sign her up to see a stress management coach.  They discuss the different things that Hallie is stressed out about and the coach helps her question the beliefs that are stressing her out so much.

By learning to think that one bad grade is not the end of the world and will not make her a failure at life, Hallie experienced less stress and anxiety the next time she gets a bad grade.  They also talk about what to do when Hallie can’t think away her anxiety.

They practice doing breathing exercises together and Hallie learns that sometimes bad situations can actually be pretty funny if you take a step back. 

In order to improve on this part Hallie also consults a laughter coach since laughter is truly the best medicine. Over time stress becomes easier for Hallie to manage. 

She even begins to see that it can sometimes be a good thing because it pushes her out of her comfort zone and makes her try new things. 

Thanks to the help she’s received, stress and anxiety is no longer a match for Hallie.

I personally am no stranger to stress and anxiety.  It used to be so painful and crippling for me. 

But over the years I have learned the same lessons that Hallie did.  Stress can be our friend at times. And when it's not it can luckily be controlled.

Rachel Alison Kaplan, LIfe and Stress Management Coach


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